Showing posts with label Spice of Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spice of Life. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

NAGAREBOSHI

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم


When I look up at the sky
The stars, see, are sparkling
Each giving off its own light
Like the people on this planet
Yeah, so I, too
Want to shine particularly bright
I close my eyes and make a vow in my heart
And entrust my dreams to that shooting star

I'm in my usual park
I can see the night scenery
On the slide
That's been my special seat for years
Whenever I'm worried about something, I come here
Just like then, I'm on my way to my dreams
But unable to fulfil them
"Maybe this is the end of the line"
There are days when I say weak things like that
But every time, I remember
That starry sky where I looked for a shooting star
The wish I made when I was little
Hasn't changed even now

Hiding out in the schoolyard at night with my mates
We climbed the chain-link fence
The field seemed to have a different face than during the day
We headed for our sea called the pool
We didn't have swimming trunks, so we were all stark naked
Someone jumped in with a strange yell
The splash echoed through the night
"After him!" Everyone else piled in
We floated gently, looking up at the sky
Looked at the stars in front of us, and talked about heaps of dreams
And looked for that shooting star

Looking up at the sky, there are countless stars
The same number now that there was years ago
My dreams are endless and crazy
Incredibly bright, like that star

Hey! If you keep hanging your head like that
You won't even be able to see the things you can see
Look up at the sky, keep your head up!!
Hey! "What do you think of the sky you see?"
Someday, like that shining star…
I wanna shine

********

p/s: This is a song by Home Made Kazoku




Tuesday, April 7, 2015

REMINISCING

Assalamualaikum guys.

Hehe. Long time no see.

I'm too busy doing my job here. Not only to become a good doctor, but my ambition is much much bigger than that. My job as His servant to aim the highest Jannah and to meet Him. :')

You know what, there are lots of things that happened in my life that at one point I don't know how to put it into words. Let it lives in my memories as long as it remains. I'm here doing fine and enjoying my Easter break. Actually I got the opportunities to go back home even though I restrained myself for only 5 days. Cuz I already know the drawbacks of doing that - going back home, I tend to be my old me that I would say I don't want to meet the old me anymore.

I think I know the reason. And the fact that I hate the 'unhealthy' environment at my home make me somehow trauma to even spend my holiday time there. But yeah, I feel pity to my mom actually cuz I'm the one she can depend on instead of Allah. And all my siblings that I love so much lillah hi taala.

And my dad too.

In which I don't know whose fault is that.

What makes me still survive is Allah's promise. I want to be the one who will enter His Jannah.

Even though the journey is still long and full of tribulations and surprises, giving up is not an option; hope so and doing my best to achieve mardhatillah.

It is kind of unique as in a Mu'min itself could believe with something that they could never seen which is the unseen world itself. They believe in the existence of heaven and hell. Reward and punishment. And even more than that, the existence of the Mighty Power that control everything in our life. Theory of Everything, heh.

I would say we live in a world that is very unfair and that's why dunia ni penjara bagi orang Mukmin.

But for those who believes with the Hereafter, there will be absolute assurance without being afraid of tyrannized.

Wallahualam.

p/s: I'm studying for my final exam~!!! Doakan sayaaa. Arigatou gozaimasu. *bowing*

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

ENIGMA

Maybe because I'm too tired
Not even know what is within
My self

All kind of conflict and dilemma
That are running in me
Maybe

I don't know what actually makes me tired
Is it a form of escapism?

Maybe yes
But who you are trying to escape from?

The problem is
I'm overthinking about everything
How am I supposed to do?

Hard to be strong in front of everyone
Without realizing I'm actually
Am flying without wing

Everyone seems to have their own struggle
And again maybe that is my fault
Which I'm hesitate to lend my hand
To reduce the burden

Because I'm too selfish?
Am I?

"I have mine also"

The feeling makes me feel exhausted
Feeling like I don't contribute to anything
Where I'm always searching for the Room
As the medium for improvement

Give me time please...

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

DETIK DETIK TERAKHIR

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah.

This is a quick update. Ngehee.

Detik-detik terakhir lah sangat. *rolling eyes* Pfft.

Actually what I wanted to say is I'm almost done with my assignment! Ohoi. Terimbau kembali masa dekat KMB zaman buat Extended Essay (EE) kalau nak tahu EE tu apa sila gunakan khidmat Inche Google. Tapi untuk assignment ni lagi lebih struggle dia compared to EE. Bila aku fikir-fikir balik, lahai EE tu takde la susah mana pun. Woops. EE tu pun aku buat last minute sebab asyik kena reject je mula-mula, from Bio tukar ke English literature sebab Bio tu sama tajuk ngan orang lain so proposal aku ditolak. Sobs. Then from English literature tukar lagi kepada English linguistic sebab aku tak tahan baca novel yang aku nak kaji tu which is Two on a Tower. Aku sendiri pilih novel tu but then aku sendiri yang give up. Haha. Sebab English yang Thomas Hardy tu guna high level sangat sampai boleh nangis aku baca tu. Dah lah masa limited nak kena hantar and at the same time kena baca novel tu dari kulit ke kulit untuk ulas mana-mana aspect under literary canon. Makk aii, boleh gila time tu.

Ada banyak version cover dia ni haa.
Pastu bila hasrat aku nak tukar Reseach Question last-last minute, apa lagi kena marahlah dengan advisor EE aku sebab cam dah last minute sangat tetibe nak tukar. Huwaa. Aku fikir aku boleh habiskan baca novel tu, but then buku tu mampu teman aku time waktu tidur je and membawa aku melayari mimpi-mimpi berlatar belakangkan zaman Eropah dulu. Buku tu best tapi tulah, bahasa klasik sangat sampai aku penat asyik nak check kamus je. Haha.  

But then Alhamdulillah berbaloilah tukar jadi English linguistic dimana aku kena buat survey lah, pastu buat data lah and at the end dapat result yang memuaskan.Walaupun aku rasa aku merapu je dalam tu. Heh.

And now bila sambung degree ni, takyah cakaplah, lagi advance dia punya assignment. Kalau aku punya ni ikut UK lah, tak tahu la camne uni-uni lain, mungkin lagi mencabar. Dah lah assignment ni campur sekali ngan final mark. Huhu.

STAGE ONE
Masa first year kena buat Family Study dimana each partner akan diberi satu pregnant mom and kena buat report pasal development semua benda alah tu malas lak nak ulas. Aku suka gila time tu especially bila my Family Study pregnant mom melahirkan anak perempuan. Wahhh, aku visit rumah dia sambil bagi hadiah gituu mudah-mudahan dapat jadi seorang mujahid yang berguna untuk ummah. InsyaAllah amin. Dan ada lagi assignment-assignment lain yang boleh tahan kritikal juga lah contoh macam critical appraisal dan banyak lagi. Macam untuk assignment critical appraisal tu sendiri aku rasa mencabar lah sebab kena kritik journal orang lain and at the same time appraise that journal. Fuhh.

STAGE TWO
And untuk this second stage medical student kena buat Patient Study in which you and your partner are given a patient with a chronic disease. So kena buat report on how that chronic disease could give impact on the patient by integrating biological, social and psychological factors on the patient bla bla bla.

And Alhamdulillah tak sabar nak tunggu Jumaat ni untuk submit benda ni and meneruskan perjuangan menyiapakan assignment yang lain pulak *sarcasm intended*.

Cuba bayangkan kalau macam ni lah cycle kita setiap hari, bangun pagi pergi kelas, malam buat assignment and benda ni berulang-ulang until you forgot to live your life as hamba Allah tu sendiri. Bukan ke lagi sedih? Apa je kebaikan yang aku dah buat hari ni? Apa je contribution untuk ummah pada hari ni? Tilawah berapa page hari ni? Mathurat baca tak?

This is what we call as vicious cycle. And i'm afraid that if i'm the one who indulging myself in that cycle. 

Dan akhirnya kita dihanyutkan dengan kesibukan dunia tanpa menyedari hari-hari kita berlalu tanpa meletakkan ingatan kita padaNya. Sampai kita lupa apa tanggungjawab kita yang sebenarnya. Kita merasakan kita sudah cukup sibuk dan hanya memberi sisa-sisa masa kita untuk mengabdikan diri kita kepada Allah.

Inilah reality hidup student. Mungkin tak valid untuk semua dan valid untuk aku je. ;')

A self reminder for today.

Wallahualam.

SABR! Keyword yang manusia selalu miss.
p/s: bilamana aku disibukkan dengan benda-benda duniawi, aku rindu untuk diberi kelapangan masa kononnya agar dapat mempersiapkan diri dengan ilmu-ilmu akhirat macam baca Al Quran satu juzu', baca buku-buku fikrah ke. Tapi bila kelapangan masa diberi, dimanakah janji-janji itu pergi? Kbai.

2nd p/s: Imma still in ma uni yaw from this morning yaw. I am so tired yawww. Plus lapar yawww. Haha lapo je kejo ko ni haa. Ngantuksss. *menguap sampai keluar air mata*

Saturday, January 31, 2015

HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN OUR PROMISE?

 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Some people think by keep on dreaming, it will come true someday. Just like building castles in the air, it is futile. How many of us will work for it so that it will become a reality? A dreamer will continue to dream in which could lead to disability to differentiate between a reality and fantasy. Schizophrenia I guess. Heh. Ok, tetibe.

We tend to live in our own designated life which would give us the pleasure of what we have been seeking for. Emm what should I call it? It is like being in our own comfort zone. We are too comfortable with what we have and subconsciously or most of us intentionally avoiding some sort of 'harm' that will threaten our self-limiting zone. Because of what? Cuz we are afraid if we are out of our secured zone, claimed to be the safest zone ever, we are no longer experience the pleasure in it.

All those titles, recognition, compliments will no longer become the priority. If and only if we realize it.

To change is very difficult. To make a change is even more difficult. And those ambitious hope and dream will not come true if one does not make an action to even start it. Become a starter might need lots of sacrifices which indeed use lots of our time, money or even higher, our blood! You see, we are all Allah's slave. A slave did not do anything beyond what his master ordered to. They are obeying every single tasks given.

In Islam, becoming His slave doesn't mean it is a form of distasteful. It shows the total submission to HIM alone and follow only His commands. There is no other ilah than Allah. We believe He is our Rabb and Malik. Not easily falling into our own Nafs, or even the 'pleasures' of the world where it is all are deceitful.

If and only if we realize it...

"So have they not traveled through the earth and have hearts by which to reason and ears by which to hear? For indeed, it is not eyes that are blinded, but blinded are the hearts which are within the breasts." [al Hajj: 46]

Open your eyes! Wake up from the deep slumber! Our ummah is dying. And I'm sick of it.

Time will not wait for us and keep on ticking.

Tik tok tik tok...

It is either we lose in the battle with ourselves or we win against it. All of us, YOU and YOU! and even me myself are always given the chance to decide what is the best to fulfill our pledge to Allah which is to become an abid and khalifah.

Our syahadah become the proof between we and Him.

I miss my hometown~

p/s: Following the Prophet PBUH is what we should do. Never ever ever give in to the feelings that are not true.

2nd p/s: Dreaming to enter the highest Jannah. ^^ So what? Work for it laaaa!

Saturday, January 3, 2015

2015

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Hey hey, assalamualaikum. ;p

Cepatkan masa terbang dan sekarang dah masuk tahun 2015! Haha. Aku rasa macam cepat gila habis tahun 2014. And kalaulah tahun ni aku berjaya dengan jayanya dalam exam final stage 2, aku dah boleh jadi stage 3 medical student. Hoho. Benda yang paling aku nak sekarang ni is that aku nak cepat-cepat grad. :3 Aku ada misi yang kena buat. Kuikui.

2015.. Kalau ikut tahun I'm already 22~ Ohoi. Moga pemikiran aku jadi lebih matang, and even perangai aku jugak. Kikiki.

Kalaulah aku imbau balik semua yang terjadi time 2014, mesti aku boleh tetibe gelak sorang-sorang, termenung tetibe, nangis tetibe, senyum tetibe. Aku harap tahun 2015 ni, my life will be blessed and shower with His kindness. Manalah tahu tahun ni tetibe ajal datang, aku harap aku mati syahid dan mati dalam husnul khotimah.

PAHIT MANIS MASAM MASIN UMAMI
Bagi aku tahun 2014 banyak ajar aku erti kehidupan. Erti menjadi seorang muslim sejati. Aku takleh imagine kalau Allah tak campak aku masuk NUMed, mungkin sekarang aku tengah menghabiskan duit MARA pergi bercuti kat tempat-tempat yang memang aku nak sangat pergi dan melihat semua keajaiban dan sejarah yang pernah berlaku kat tempat tu. Mungkin aku melihat semua tu, tapi melihat dengan buta mata hatinya. 

Bertebaran kat atas muka bumi, tapi kalau tak didasari dengan niat dan matlamat yang jelas, perkara tu tak menambahkan iman pun. Emm. Walaupun deep down, aku jeles tau huwaa tengok all my besties pergi travel sana sini. Tetibe aku terimbau balik impian aku sejak sekolah menengah, aku nak travel satu dunia ni. Aku nak tahu rahsia yang terselindung kat atas muka bumi ni. Aku nak lihat sendiri sejarah peninggalan kat sesuatu tempat tu. And aku nak buat travelog aku sendiri. Hoho. Time tu aku fikir aku boleh buat semua tu bila dah dapat biasiswa after SPM, ngehe. Dan betullah, kita merancang, Allah juga merancang. Dan sesungguhnya perancangan Allah  tulah sebaik-baik perancangan.

Dan aku sangat yakin, memang hidup aku dah ditakdirkan macam ni. Untuk hidup berjuang atas jalanNya. :') Aku panjatkan sejuta kesyukuran atas nikmat yang Allah berikan dalam hidup aku even aku bukanlah seorang hambaMu yang baik, mungkin tak layak pun nak masuk syurga. Tapi kalau tak dapat jumpa dengan Pencipta sendiri, perkara tulah yang akan membuatkan aku sedih. Menangis air mata darah sekalipun takkan boleh dihidupkan kembali ke atas muka bumi ni.

Sob sob...

Hey, dan impian aku nak travel satu dunia tu tak pudar lagi. One day maybe.. One dayy. InsyaAllah. Kalau aku dapat travel sorang-sorang pun takpe. Banyak benda aku nak belajar. Pasal culture, social, environment, life style, politic, faith, food, education. Haha, kadang-kadang aku rasa lah kan aku berminat ke arah sains sosial sebenarnya. Aku nak kaji human behavior, how they perceive a thing, how they make a decision banyak laa. But then, bila belajar medik ni pun memang aku punya interest nak korek rahsia pasal human sendiri.

And yes, human is very complex. Aku study pun macam tak habis-habis. Nanti masuk exam soalan dia putar belit cam hape entah, macam tak pernah study. :3 Soalan bukan main panjang, tapi point yang dia nak kata alahai cenonet je. But still, aku takleh jawab. Haha. Kan best kalau aku ni genius habis. Semua benda aku tahu. Heaven gilaaa. Kan dah guna ayat 'kalau'. Haish. Tapi benda tu tak mustahil pun kan, kalau tengok Ibnu Sina, bukannya mahir dalam bidang perubatan je, tapi geometri, logik, falsafah, fiqah, matematik to name a few. Mantap kan. 

Aku ni..entahlah~ Haha.

KUAT
Yeahh, aku perlu jadi kuat. Fizikal mental spiritual. Fizikal penting sebab aku selalu imagine kalau aku lawan penjahat aku berjaya kalahkan dia. Hoho. Tapi malangnya bila balik rumah selalu kalah ngan adik lelaki sendiri. Even masuk taekwondo, macam tak membantu sangat pun. Cumanya kalau aku lawan lengan ngan kawan-kawan kat NUMed mesti aku menang. Sebab tu diorang gelar aku biceps. Haha. Seram tak. Lol. And teringat time sekolah menengah aku pernah join tarik tali, menang wehhhh. Hahaa. Lawak bila teringat balik. Aku tak tahu apsal aku join, bajet nak test kekuatan. Satu team mate semua besar-besar gila, aku je sesat kat situ. Fineee, time tu takde la gem*k cam sekarang. T_T Tapi menang beb, dapat pingat. Haha.

Mental lagilah aku perlu kuat. Especially towards my adik-adik. InsyaAllah.

Spiritual lagi lah. And of course lah hubungan dengan Allah kena jaga. Fikirlah, kekuatan tu nak datang dari mana je? Datang tetibe bergolek kat awak? Camtu? Mintalah kekuatan tu dekat Kekuatan yang paling Atas. Which is Allah. Walaupun satu dunia merancang nak jatuhkan kita, tapi kalau semua perkara tu tak diizinkan Allah, semua tu tak boleh berlaku. Ingat sandarkan kekuatan tu pada Allah. Doa jangan lupa, senjata orang Islam. Banyakka qiam. Banyakkan tadabbur ayat, kaji ayat-ayat cinta Allah untuk kita semua ye. Jangan malas-malas ye nak. ^^

Kalau kita kejar dunia je, akhirat tu pasti berciciran. Kena jelas mana satu matlamat, mana satu alat dalam hidup ni. Jangan mudah dikaburi dengan perhiasan dunia. Kejar lah perkara yang kekal tu sendiri, sediakan bekal yang secukupnyaaaa. Jangan biarkan amalan-amalan kita selama ni last-last jadi debu yang berterbangan. T_T

AZAM
Banyak weh azam aku tahun ni. Tapi selalunya aku akan lanjutkan sampai ke tahun depan...tahun depan lagi...tahun depan lagi yang seterusnya. Ngaha. So malaslah kan nak sebut.

Dan sebenarnya dalam banyak-banyak benda, aku sangat bersyukur dikelilingi dengan kawan-kawan yang sentiasa mengingatkan tujuan hidup kita ni. Ni yang tak sabar nak jumpa semuaaaa. Bermujahadah bersama-sama, menjadi ghuraba' atas dunia yang fana ni, untuk menjalankan sunnah terbesar Rasulullah s.a.w. tu sendiri. Hidup melawan arus dunia yang mungkin kadang kala lemas, tak sedarkan diri, tapi akan ada mereka-mereka yang menyelamatkan seseorang yang tegah lemas. Sebab kitakan bergerak atas satu gerabak. Sayang antunna kerana Allah. ^^















Moga nanti kita semua berjumpa disyurga~! Hoyeahhhh.

p/s: Aku rindu semua kawan-kawan aku. Kawan time sekolah menengah, kat KMB semualahhh. 

2nd p/s: Aku selalu tak faham kenapa time nak dekat exam selalu ada mood nak update blog. Huh.
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3rd p/s: And sekarang ni aku ada addicted kat satu lagu ni. Wuhuu.