UNTITLED #2

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

Warning: Jangan baca kalau tak suka dengar orang merungut.

Mungkin orang akan anggap saya ni tak bersyukur ke apa. Saya tahu tu. And in a way, sometimes.. yes I am! Saya mengaku tu.

But, can you imagine, I am here with a bunch of students that will go to overseas soon. And MARA gave me a condition where I have to continue my studies at NUMed but in Johor, its branch. But not to others.

Not because I am not being grateful, I am really thankful about it, indeed. But still, it is not very certain. Yela, if you not pass the IB requirements plus IB total points, still you can't enter it.

Dah lah MARA bagi kat random students je untuk ke NUMed ni as it is a new international branch in Malaysia. And I am one of the randomness. Err.

And one more thing, saya nak sangat belajar kat overseas. This is one of the reasons why I applied for MARA under PILN (Program Ijazah Luar Negara) back then. Plus, this is also why I did not choose UIA instead of KMB. And I really grateful when I passed the MARA interview and got the offer from them to continue my studies under Diploma International Baccalaureate (IB) in medical field.

Guess what, IB is not easy man! And I am just a daily school student that is suddenly got stuck here among all the top students. That is why I always got homesick in Sem 1. These things are somehow a new environment for me.

And now, they are hustling with University's interview especially for Ireland and UK bounded students. Me? I did not get the opportunities to experience the so-called an adrenaline rush experience. Because I got NUMed.

When my friends got a conditional offer from their favorite universities, of course I envy them. I mean, bukanlah jelez apa, but I want that too. I want to go to Ireland.

Anyway, congrats buddies!

Orang kata belajar dalam negara pun not bad actually. Yes, I really admit that. But then, why must I am here with this crowd of students. Lain kali campaklah saya kat tempat yang environment dia tak cerita pasal fly.

Student NUMed kat sini teramatlah sedikit. But some of them memang apply for PIDN (Program Ijazah Dalam Negara), so maybe not so depressed. Because they want it. But not for me.

And ada budak yang senasib dengan saya, minta PILN tapi dapat PIDN. But then, they have money. They made a contract with MARA that they want to pursue their studies in overseas. They made a deal which they will not get MARA scholarship when in overseas. So, they've made it. They can apply for any universities that they really want. Because, they have their parents to support them if anything happens.

But me? Neehh.

I always say to myself, there must be a reason why Allah puts me here. And yes, I always convince myself about that. EVERY DAY.

But sometimes, I feel soooo bad. Why must me? Why not anyone else? Why must me becomes their guinea pig.

Most of my friends outside there thought that I am going to fly soon after I finish this programme. HARHARHAR. You are wrong my dear.

Ya Allah. Sorry for not being grateful. I just feel like a loser. Emm, maybe this is not so appropriate to define it. Aishh.

I just feel embarrass with myself, with my friends. All my cliques get the opportunities to pursue their studies in overseas. But, why not me. I want it toooo~

Dah banyak merepek da. Sigh~

Some people will not understand because they are not in my shoes. Thank you.

Knock knock.

p/s: I need support.
2nd p/s: Merepek kan entri ni? Huh. I also feel the same~

3rd p/s: Sorry...

"THIS IS MY JOURNEY. HE PUTS ME HERE. IT IS HIS PLAN. SO, I HAVE TO CARRY ON AND TRUST HIM." :')