Saturday, February 2, 2013

UNTITLED #2

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

Warning: Jangan baca kalau tak suka dengar orang merungut.

Mungkin orang akan anggap saya ni tak bersyukur ke apa. Saya tahu tu. And in a way, sometimes.. yes I am! Saya mengaku tu.

But, can you imagine, I am here with a bunch of students that will go to overseas soon. And MARA gave me a condition where I have to continue my studies at NUMed but in Johor, its branch. But not to others.


Not because I am not being grateful, I am really thankful about it, indeed. But still, it is not very certain. Yela, if you not pass the IB requirements plus IB total points, still you can't enter it.

Dah lah MARA bagi kat random students je untuk ke NUMed ni as it is a new international branch in Malaysia. And I am one of the randomness. Err.

And one more thing, saya nak sangat belajar kat overseas. This is one of the reasons why I applied for MARA under PILN (Program Ijazah Luar Negara) back then. Plus, this is also why I did not choose UIA instead of KMB. And I really grateful when I passed the MARA interview and got the offer from them to continue my studies under Diploma International Baccalaureate (IB) in medical field.

Guess what, IB is not easy man! And I am just a daily school student that is suddenly got stuck here among all the top students. That is why I always got homesick in Sem 1. These things are somehow a new environment for me.

And now, they are hustling with University's interview especially for Ireland and UK bounded students. Me? I did not get the opportunities to experience the so-called an adrenaline rush experience. Because I got NUMed.

When my friends got a conditional offer from their favorite universities, of course I envy them. I mean, bukanlah jelez apa, but I want that too. I want to go to Ireland.


Anyway, congrats buddies!

Orang kata belajar dalam negara pun not bad actually. Yes, I really admit that. But then, why must I am here with this crowd of students. Lain kali campaklah saya kat tempat yang environment dia tak cerita pasal fly.

Student NUMed kat sini teramatlah sedikit. But some of them memang apply for PIDN (Program Ijazah Dalam Negara), so maybe not so depressed. Because they want it. But not for me.

And ada budak yang senasib dengan saya, minta PILN tapi dapat PIDN. But then, they have money. They made a contract with MARA that they want to pursue their studies in overseas. They made a deal which they will not get MARA scholarship when in overseas. So, they've made it. They can apply for any universities that they really want. Because, they have their parents to support them if anything happens.

But me? Neehh.

I always say to myself, there must be a reason why Allah puts me here. And yes, I always convince myself about that. EVERY DAY.

But sometimes, I feel soooo bad. Why must me? Why not anyone else? Why must me becomes their guinea pig.

Most of my friends outside there thought that I am going to fly soon after I finish this programme. HARHARHAR. You are wrong my dear.

Ya Allah. Sorry for not being grateful. I just feel like a loser. Emm, maybe this is not so appropriate to define it. Aishh.


I just feel embarrass with myself, with my friends. All my cliques get the opportunities to pursue their studies in overseas. But, why not me. I want it toooo~

Dah banyak merepek da. Sigh~

Some people will not understand because they are not in my shoes. Thank you.

Knock knock.
p/s: I need support.
2nd p/s: Merepek kan entri ni? Huh. I also feel the same~
3rd p/s: Sorry...

"THIS IS MY JOURNEY. HE PUTS ME HERE. IT IS HIS PLAN. SO, I HAVE TO CARRY ON AND TRUST HIM." :')
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4 comments:

  1. Woha~! I can imagine how depressed and frustrated you are now. Tapi eloklah saya jangan buat-buat paham situasi Ira ni sepenuhnya, then memandai-mandai nak bagi nasihat itu ini. I know, bila people tengah down, dan orang lain mula bagi nasihat murahan macam "bersabarlah" or "ada hikmah disebaliknya" gitu, people tend to get more upset lepas tu. Hahah. Yeah that's the case with me, and I believe, you too :D~

    Tapi walaubagaimanapun, saya penah baca ada tulisan rakan kolej saya tu. Dia tulis tentang "Hikmah: Mengapa Aku Tidak Dapat Ke Luar Negara".. Walaupun penulisan Ira ni nampak lebih jelas kelihatan Ira tengah frust sekarang, sebab nampak Ira dah usaha habis-habisan sebelum ni tapi sekali, isk, jadi mangsa randomness pulak kan. So kalau baca tulisan collegemate saya ni, mungkin dia nampak lebih santai sebab dia sedang bercerita mengenai benda yang dah 6,7 years ago menimpa dirinya. And that means it took 6,7 years for him untuk menyingkap hikmah di sebalik apa yang pernah berlaku kepada dirinya tu. But still, dalam penulisannya tu saya rasa ada common value yang kalian dapat kongsi bersama. Ahak~ RASA je lah. Mungkin tanggapan saya salah. Ehek. Kalau takdak pon, Ira boleh lah baca penulisan beliau tu sekadar sebagai hiburan di kala duka ek. Hekhek.

    Salam :D~

    Oh btw, perenggan-perenggan atas dalam penulisan beliau tu tak berapa berkenaan dengan tajuk entry dia tu. Hahaha XD. Tapi bahagian tengah entry dia tu, even orang yang takda kaitan macam saya ni pon terasa lega membacanya.

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    1. eeeee, Apis, kalau lah ada button like kat sini, dah lama saya like. hehe. waahh, thank you sangat2. beruntung ada kawan macam Apis. thanks!!!! saya dah baca da, alhamdulillah, maybe ada lah yang kena dekat batang hidung ni juga. xD

      tapi tu lah, sebab sekarang ni tengah rational, so apa yang orang dalam blog kawan Apis cakap tu amat betul! :)

      maybe akan ada banyak kemungkinan yang berlaku kalau saya dapat and vice versa. kita hanya merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan. ^^

      emm, lagi pun masa tulis entry ni, emosi yang kawal diri. nak cerita kat kawan, nanti sama macam Apis kata tu, 'nasihat murahan'. padahal tak murahan pun sebenarnya. kita je yang ego taknak terima~ huu.

      anyway, thanks again!!! waa, terharu plus lega.

      ok, wassalam~ :)

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  2. "Fighting is enjoined on you, and it is an object of dislike to you; and it may be that you dislike a thing while it is good for you, and it may be that you love a thing while it is evil for you, and ALLAH knows, while you do not know."
    (al-Baqarah, 2:216)

    ps: Cheer up! I myself didn't have any offer/conditional letter yet :)

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    1. huhu. ayat ni. waaa, betul sangat tu Mr. K. :')

      maybe ada something that Allah wants to show to me. but now it is not the time yet, perhaps.

      thanks sangat2 Mr K. ;)

      p/s: insyaAllah, you will get it someday. i believe in that (ceh, mentang2lah baru habis ToK). biidznillah~ ^^

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jangan lupa komen~ ^^